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[You will almost never hear this; Papyrus always answers in the first two rings. But if he's dead, in a movie theater, between phones, or extremely busy, then here's...]

HELLO, THIS IS THE GREAT PAPYRUS!! LEAVE YOUR NAME, NUMBER, AND COMPLIMENTS AFTER THE BEEP, AND I'LL RETURN YOUR CALL!

BEEEEEP!!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

mysteryhero

[A change of subject then.]

I was told Guardians would have information.

Such as, how many people are brought here and about the barriers.

From:

cool_skeleton

YES! THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS JUST FULL OF DELICIOUS INFO!!

FOR A CENSUS, JUST OPEN UP YOUR DIRECTORY LIKE SO...

[He tutorializes how to access the thingy that lists every name here.]

AND START COUNTING!!

AS FOR THE BARRIERS, UM...I DON'T KNOW ABOUT ANYTHINGS LIKE THAT. JUST THE ONE.

[He used a plural, there, so Pap's in the dark.]

From:

mysteryhero

I was told that the barriers had monsters beyond them and people who tried to breach them never returned.

From:

cool_skeleton

GUESS THEY WERE PUT THERE FOR A REASON! STILL, SOME MONSTERS ARE VERY GREAT. LIKE THE ONE YOU'RE TALKING TO RIGHT!!!

...I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO SAY ON THAT SUBJECT.

[Barrie(r), yes. Barrie(rs), nope.]

From:

mysteryhero

Are you calling yourself a great monster?

[He still has no idea he's really a skeleton. So that doesn't sound like a good thing.]

From:

cool_skeleton

PAPSOLUTELY!!!!

From:

mysteryhero

I want to see you.

From:

cool_skeleton

I DON'T BLAME YOU; AFTER ALL THIS TALK ABOUT HOW BRAINWASHINGLY CHARMING I AM, WHO WOULDN'T!?

OKAY, TRY NOT TO LOSE YOUR FREE WILL WHEN YOU SEE ME!

From:

mysteryhero

[That... wasn't what he was expecting.]

Is that actually you?

From:

cool_skeleton

NOW YOU SUSPECT ME OF IMPERSONATING THE GREAT PAPYRUS??? WHEN WILL THE ACCUSATIONS END!?!?

Edited Date: 2019-07-14 04:23 am (UTC)

From:

mysteryhero

Well, the kid said you were a skeleton but I wasn't expecting a... you know... actual skeleton.

From:

cool_skeleton

...YOU WERE EXPECTING A METAPHORICAL SKELETON...?

From:

mysteryhero

I thought... I don't know... That you'd just be very thin? But human, at least.

[He hasn't been out and about here enough to know all the unusual beings around.]

And alive.

From:

cool_skeleton

NYEH HEH HEH, AS YOU CAN SEE, I'M ALL MUSCLE!!!

[He flexes where his biceps would be, if he had them.]

NOPE, NOT HUMAN!! THOUGH I USED TO BE VERY INTERESTED IN CATCHING THEM!

AND I'M DEFINITELY ALIVE!!! HOW ELSE WOULD WE BE TALKING OTHERWISE???

[Explain that one, smart guy!]

From:

mysteryhero

You're certainly talking a lot.

Why would you catch humans?

From:

cool_skeleton

THAT'S WHAT PHONES ARE MADE FOR! AS WELL AS SENDING SELFIES!!

FOR THEIR SOUL POWER, OF COURSE!!

From:

mysteryhero

Soul power?

From:

cool_skeleton

YEAH!! YOU KNOW. POWER FROM THE SOUL!!!

[There he explained it better]

From:

mysteryhero

How does this power work?

From:

cool_skeleton

MUCH BETTER FOR HUMANS, I CAN TELL YOU THAT!! IT'S REALLY USEFUL FOR BREAKING DOWN MONSTER-TRAPPING BARRIERS.

BUT THAT WAS THEN. NOW I THINK THE BARRIER TRAPS EVERYONE EQUALLY. EXCEPT IT'S NOT REALLY A TRAP AT ALL!!

From:

mysteryhero

What is it if not a trap?

From:

cool_skeleton

JUST YOUR AVERAGE BARRIER THAT PROTECTS PEOPLE, LIKE ME!! EXCEPT I DON'T MAKE PEOPLE UNCONSCIOUS WHEN THEY GET CLOSE...

...UNLESS MY OVERWHELMING COOLNESS DOES THAT. IT COULD HAPPEN!!

From:

mysteryhero

So you think the barrier is a protection.

That makes us in a sort of cage. Like a pet.

From:

cool_skeleton

MY THOUGHTS ARE AS CLEAR AND SCINTILLATING AS THE MORNING SUN.

BUT THOSE AREN'T IT. BECAUSE CAGES, I THINK, ARE MEANT TO KEEP YOU FROM GOING PLACES. AND NO ONE WANTS TO GO TO THE PLACES THE BARRIER BLOCKS OFF.

ALSO, PETS ARE USUALLY GIVEN TREATS AND PETS, AND I HAVEN'T BEEN GIVEN MANY OF THOSE.